I have spent the last few days deep in thought and prayer trying to work out if I should share the letter I wrote to Aoife on her birthday. In the end I decided not to. It’s far too personal for a public blog.
I’m finding that’s happening a lot more lately. Our stories are becoming separated. Hers and mine. And her stories are hers to tell.
I need and want to honour her privacy, but since I do what I do (artful memory-keeping), there’s an emotional tug of war as I try to figure out what is and isn’t okay to share.
Thankfully, I think her current Rapunzel obsession is common knowledge.
Aoife suits a bob the best (she is my daughter after all), but is determined to grow her hair. She wants long hair like Rapunzel. She wants plaits and fancy hairstyles far beyond my skills. Recently, I have found myself looking up hairstyles on YouTube and Pinterest, in the hope of being able to offer her some variation as her hair grows.
I wasn’t allowed long hair as a child and never learned any of this.
But I feel like I’m symbolically letting down my own hair alongside her. She may be growing her hair, but I’m getting a second chance to be and do the things I couldn’t when I was her age. I’m letting my hair down and enjoying the freedom of being an adult, of second chances, of learning more about myself from my children.
What have you embraced as an adult that you couldn’t do as a child?
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This art journal page was made using a combination of water soluble crayons, acrylics, pen and a personal photo of Aoife.
Hmm… I’ve gone through periods of chopping off my hair. I break tradition and do things like go the Bahamas on Thanksgiving. I tell my son about Santa Claus when he begins to figure it out, instead of guilting him into believing. Those are just the things that bubbled up off the top of my head. There are so many others, I’m sure.
What I loved about this is how you’re letting her grow her hair, even though you think shorter hair suits her better. That’s what it’s all about, I think, letting them grow into their own interests and preferences, despite the vision we have for them.
I taught myself how to do a french braid, and still, I Google and search Pinterest for ways to style my longer hair. It doesn’t come naturally to me, even though my hair has been long most of my life!
Also, I love your transparency about the struggle of what to share and what not to share… seems like you made a good choice, here!
Thanks Angie! Yes, it’s definitely about letting them grow into their own interests and preferences, while at the same time keeping them safe. What’s the saying? We’re raising adults not children.