I believe one of my greatest lessons in life is patience. I have always lived with a constant sense of urgency, a need to get things done now, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, and pretty perfectly at that. While I may now finally understand the reasons why, I can’t say it has made my creative path particularly smooth.
Creatively that urgency translated into fear and procrastination. For years I didn’t give myself permission to be a novice, to make mistakes and learn from them. If I did, they were well hidden from view, like dirty little secrets at the back of my closet. I jumped head first into projects that were many skill levels higher than I was at and was disappointed, angry even, when the end results were not perfect. Being a very visual person, I had seen the finished pieces in my mind’s eye a million times and the learner versions rarely, if ever, matched up. I was disheartened. With time I gave up trying. Then I realised something:
I missed out on the fun and beauty of the journey.
Life is ingenious. It found (and still finds) numerous ways to make me slow down, take stock and let go of the non-essential. Some were hard, hard lessons to learn, others true pleasures. I call them my life remedies because no matter what their level of difficulty, they all, in their own ways, heal me.
I am slowly, slowly returning to the True Creative Me. I am learning to appreciate the slow process of learning a new craft or endeavour. I am learning to be a novice. I am learning to let things happen naturally, as they need to, rather than try to force a result. I’m learning to choose creative originality over pre-written patterns, to experiment and have fun. But mostly, I’m just learning to be gentle with myself.
Have you learned to appreciate the slow process of creativity?
Have a lovely weekend people! Hope it is not as stormy where you are as it is here.
It’s hard, isn’t it? You know what you want to make, and you just want to make it, even if it is way too advanced. I’m learning, too. I like to jump into projects, too, but am learning to take it slow as well. I’m so impatient about learning to knit, though–I’m making myself finish a scarf when what I really want to do it make a hat. But I’d like to be practiced first so I don’t ruin the hat. Argh!
I’m like this with writing, too. It’s why I’ve waited years to start writing my book. I’ve finally started. I want it to be perfect, but I know it won’t be. I’ve realized that it can be imperfect and still be worth reading.
I’m so glad to hear you’ve started writing your book (and judging from your blog, getting on quite well with it). I’m still procrastinating on mine. I’ll get there.